The Masculinity Bank

“…every man has within himself a masculinity bank. Each time he succeeds in a manly endeavor, a few coins drop into his bank: ka-ching, ka-ching. For most men, the bank can never be filled.”

David Murrow, “Why Men Hate Going to Church,” page 105.

“Masculinity banks experience withdrawals as well. If a man fails in manly endeavors, he loses a few coins. If he does something that his peers regard as womanly, its like pulling the stopper out of the bank and dropping coins down the sewer.”

David Murrow, “Why Men Hate Going to Church,” page 105.

“I went to a sportsman’s show and polled ninety-five guys on the question of women’s destinations. Thirty-two percent of the men thought church was a woman’s destination, while only twelve percent thought it was a man’s destination. A man will go to a women’s destination but will not tarry there.”

David Murrow, “Why Men Hate Going to Church,” page 107.

“Since men work so hard to fill their masculinity banks, they are naturally reluctant to give up their coins. Men avoid anything that might drain their banks.
David Murrow, “Why Men Hate Going to Church,” page 106.

Pentecost was just the other Sunday-it is a huge celebration at our church. We have a birthday party for the Christian church on that day. This year, we also had a baby shower as a part of the celebration. Wendy leads one of our small groups—a ladies group. More than half of the ladies in her group have little or no connection to any church apart from the group. We don’t have many babies at our church, so this is a BIG deal. As usual, that weekend we had both Saturday night and Sunday morning church. Following the Saturday service anyone who wants to goes out to dinner at a near-by restaurant. That night, who should be sitting at the table next to us but Wendy, her husband and parents. Wendy’s husband delivers a particular type of “car part” to local car dealers. He also has a car that he races. He is almost never in church. We invited him to the BIG CELEBRATION the next day. We told him that guys were going to be at this “shower.” Even the guy that rides a Harley to church was going to be at the shower. There was nothing we could do to convince Wendy’s husband to attend church and the shower.

Not all men fill their masculinity bank the same way. Some fill it by playing golf—others by painting. Some fill it by hunting and fishing—others by playing the guitar or drums. The point is that all men have a masculinity bank that they strive to keep as full as possible. For the man who was not raised in church, going to church does not fill his masculinity bank (at least not until he meets Christ Jesus and finds out what church is really about.).

It does not have to be this way! Jesus was a “manly” man. Jesus was a carpenter. A carpenter in his day worked with both wood and stone. Four miles northwest of ancient Nazareth was the palace of Herod the Great. Work was continually being done on the palace—wood and stone work. It is likely that Joseph and his son Jesus would have worked on the palace. It would have been hard work, physical work. Jesus would have been a man among men. Strong muscles. Rippled abs. Not some “girly” guy. Men followed him. Men hung out with him. Men sought him out. Men… Men… Men… Being with Jesus DID NOT cause with withdrawal from the “masculinity bank.”